m00fed - The Saga Begins.....
by Profs. N.Q.Quillix E.Nuvios
Summary: This is a highly strange and bazaar story involving two new witches... Nova Quillix and Eleri Nuvios. This is the first year from their point of view and well... They're not exactly the most sane people on the planet.... Welcome to their world.....
1. What's up with those two owls on the flo...

Heheheh……my name is Eleri Nuvios and I'm muggle born…

_(I.C. Pigs_: This don't belong to us…hehe, well nothing that relates to Harry Potter anyway cus they belong to J.K Rowling *sobs*, all the stupid stuff (the whole thing in that case) is our work and we love it…really….lol…*sipping tea like we do, because we are British and cool*)

**m00fed!**

Heheheh…… My name is Eleri Nuvios and I'm muggle born…. hehe, so's me mate Nova Quillix, she is me best mate and we have lotsa adventure type thingies….

Anyway, we were just writing as usual one day in our boring muggle type lives when a flock of owls crashed into the window…two died. Oh well.

Anyhoo, I managed to pry my windows open to let them in since I have deprived my bedroom of fresh air for so many years – dunno how Nova managed to live this long. And the large Tawney owl hopped onto my bed. He gave us two letters – or rather two parchments since the quality of paper was nothing like that of today's modern world standard – and we nearly had heart attacks cause' we had just received invitations to join Hogwart's school of Witchcraft and Wizardry… AAA!!!

So that was how it all started…we are now in Kings Cross station and trying to find this platform 9 ¾…hmmm…the barrier, where is the barrier….?

"Holy F*k! Nova! Nova!" Nova turns from her pot noodle.

"Mm? gulp what?"

"I just saw a really hot wizard guy go through that barrier! We're here! We're here!"

(Together)

"AAAA!!!"

"Let's go! I wonder what the train looks like! What kinds of wizards we'll meet?"

"chewing Mm? gulp oh yeah…well let's go, train leaves in ten minutes."

The train looks pretty cool on the outside, but inside it's like nothing we ever dreamed would be! The seats are *sooo* comfy man I could just lie down and sleep!

"So where'r we gonna go?"

"I dunno, let's try and find a free compartment or sumthink.That one there looks cool."

"Nova, It's like every other one."

"Yeah, but this one's cooler."

"How come?"

"Cause' it's ours!"

(Together)

"Yippeee!!!"

"Woops, sorry we didn't realise this compartment was taken." I said.

"Hey! Let's share it! Looks kinda cool!"

_"Nova!"_

"Ah quit yer whining, so, what's your names?"

"Draco. Draco Malfoy."

"Aaand your friends are?" I prompted.

"Crabbe and Goyle – they aren't trained to talk yet, we're still trying to work on it." Draco said. The two boys grunted.

"So what're you planning to be in Draco?" I said.

"Slytherin of course. It's the best one." I frowned, _yeah, right. Hufflepuff was where I wanted to go!_

"Who's your goofy friend – " He glanced at me " – Piggy?" Nova showed no signs that she had heard his remark while I fumed with rage.

"I bet you'll end up in Hufflepuff," He sneered. " What a bunch of softies. Talent-less fools."Nova waltzed up and pushed Draco to the window.

"Shift up! I don't wanna be in Hufflepuff! Slytherin! Yeah! I'm going to be in Slytherin…rulez."I stared, a part of me wanted to kick Malfoy's head in, but the other half wanted to prove myself as being a lot tougher than he thought.I sat next to Nova and sighed with exhaustion.

"sniff, sniff! what's that Fekking smell?" She mumbled glancing at Malfoy with her nostrils twitching furiously.

"Oh Fekking hell! Dude you stink!" There was a very quick movement and magically a deodorant spray appeared in her hands, the intoxicating stink of spray filling the compartment.

"Cough! Cough!" I laughed as the males with their dumb sense of good smell choked and coughed all over the place before getting up and leaving the room with all their luggage.Nova grinned.

"You did that on purpose didn't you?" I marvelled.

"Yep, you didn't want those fartknockers in here all the trip did you?"

"No way! Great idea with the spray."

"Always works." She grinned.

The rest of the trip was kinda borin, we got changed into our brand new black robes:

"Dude! I love black!"

"This rules!"

And eventually stepped out to the Hogsmeade train station platform.

"Firs' years! Firs' years! O'er 'ere!"We blinked in the darkening night and saw a tall looming figure approaching us holding a lantern.I squinted.

"Who - the - F*k, is that?" Nova yet again beamed.

"Yes! This is the guy who's gonna take us to the boats and we're gonna _row_ to Hogwarts!" We raised our fists triumphantly in the air and shouted:

"Whoopee!"The boats were kinda old and dingy but cool anyway.

"I'm glad it's not raining tonight." I said to Nova.

"Shame! It would have been so much more interesting!" I stared dumbfounded at her, Nova had always been such a bold and daring person and sometimes done some pretty dumb things. Strange though, in the end those dumb things she done would turn out to make her look like a really cool person! I envied her.But then we reached the castle doors and entered to meet the most snobby looking witch ever.

"I am Professor McGonagall, Deputy headmistress and head of Gryffindor – one of the houses you will be sorted into in a few minutes. You! Stop talking back there, this is important!"

"Sorry." I mumbled.Then we were led into the hall and passed the different house tables…so many older students…I felt extremely nervous...Nova looked ecstatic.

"This is it!"

"Who are the other heads of houses? I wanna know!"

"Now which house do you think we'll be sorted into?"

"Slytherin!"

"Why? They're mean and nasty."

"Your point?"

"Well anything for me except Slytherin – bunch of assholes."

"Hey! There's a good chance _I'll _be in Slytherin thank you very much. I thought we were friends!"

"We are!"

"Fine then." She grinned.One by one the other first years with us were sorted into houses, Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Slytherin and Hufflepuff.

"Nuvios, Eleri!" AAA!! THIS IS IT!!!…The walk was incredibly long and I shook like a leaf getting to the stool. I put it on my head.

'Hello!'The hat said to me.

"What the F*k?!" I mumbled back wondering if anyone had heard me.

'I said hello, you're Eleri Nuvios? Ahh…hmmm…how about Gryffindor?'

"Guh? I'm not that brave!"

'But you're daring…a bit….hmm…Ravenclaw? Quite intelligent, though most children are these days with the amount of scientific knowledge you muggles get these days.'

"I'm not muggle! Not anymore!" I mentally congratulated myself.

'No, of course not…hmm…better make it HUFFLEPUFF!!'

I wrenched the hat off and nearly did a comical jig to the Hufflepuff table. I had made it into Hufflepuff! The house I wanted to be in! Yay!

"Potter, Harry!"The room filled with noise and mutterings. What were they so happy about? Hey! Why didn't they do that for me?Something drew me towards the staff table where I saw…

~_~_~_~_~

Nova was right behind the boy known as Harry, as soon as the chattering had began she felt that for some strange and strong pulling reason, she had to turn towards the staff table and stare at the powerful, dark and looming figure of a sallow skinned, greasy haired man.His hair was pitch black and his expression a most disgusted one.

~_~_~_~_~

"Who's that teacher next to Dumbledore?" I asked a girl next to me – she was in the second year.

"That's professor – "

~_~_~_~_~

"– Snape."The boy behind Nova finished.Oooo! She thought, what a strange and sinister looking fellow…hehe…I mean – _Man_ – damn my English tongue! She scorned.

"Quillix, Nova!" _Damn woman, no need to shout I can hear you! _Nova mumbled hesitating before being pushed out to the stool.The hat was old and smelly and repulsed her as it slipped over her head.

"Damn you need a wash!" She mentally shouted at the hat.

'Aaah, you're a friend of Eleri Nuvios aren't you?'The hat chuckled.'My you are feisty!'

"Hey! Quit it! Am I coming on to you? NO! Now fek off!"

'Well you're daring and bold…Gryffindor…?'

"Umm…nah."

'Why not?'

"Ermm…Cause it sucks…well, not really but Slytherin would be much better!"

'Well I'm afraid this isn't a matter you can decide upon, but…as I already decided the moment you plopped me on well… SLYTHERIN!!'

Nova threw the hat off.

"YES!!!" She roared much to the surprise of most students except for the Slytherin table who laughed so pleasurably with the new girl's enthusiasm.

Eleri's mouth hung wide._We won't be able to see each other for ages now! We'll_ _probably have to stop being friends now that she's in with the Slytherins…_

_ _

~_~_~_~_~

I looked at what were to be my future friends with a little sadness. Eleri was sitting at the Hufflepuff table looking a little deflated. I pulled myself together after having made such a loud noise in my happiness and walked proudly to the Slytherins still throwing the odd glance to Eleri to let her know I wasn't going to stop being her friend.

"This is amazing!" I marvelled looking at the whole hall, I had never seen anything so spectacular or well scented, as I sat back into my seat next to a pug-faced girl. She'd been sorted before me, her name was Pansy and I detested her, perhaps Eleri had been right, the Slytherins were a bunch of ass holes, non of them I could see myself getting to be close friends with and each seeming a little stuck up! Bad plan…… Should have chosen Gryffindor, they look a lot happier than the Slytherins… _Shit!_

"So who's the head of our house?!" I asked excitedly as I saw one of the older girls opposite me who looked a little more approachable than the others surrounding me.. She stared at me like I was dirt… She was a witch after all…. Who was I to argue? I hung my head in shame… I didn't know…

"Potions Master Snape…. He is the head of Slytherin." I looked at him, he looked at me then turned away… My first thought…… Gawd, why did I want to be a Slytherin?

_(I.C. Pigs_: well whaddya think? Hehe……our first ever stupid story involving us as the main characters…lol….doing this really relieves tension y'know…this is how we think and live our lives so be afraid, be very afraid……*evil witchy cackle*)


	2. Where did that smell come from?

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Disclaimer: Okay any characters that belong to JK Rowling don't belong to us, but then I guess that goes without saying.

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Authors Note: Yet another pointless take on year one… Have a read and tell us what you think…. Should we continue? I say this only once… Read and risk your own sanity…

**__**

m00fed…. Have a nice day!

One Point, Oh dear… Is that a flying monkey I see? AAAAAAA Oh yeah. I'm dreaming.. Never mind.. 

I woke up with a start… The Slytherin dormitories were really cold and the beds weren't nearly soft enough… Argh! Breakfast time soon… Yay! I love food.. The feast was great apart from my company, what a bunch of low life scum! And that Malfoy kid, I could see we were just going to hate each other, calling me goofy… grrrrr! Oh yeah where was I? Breakfast… A thought to soothe anyone's mind… I sniggered and thought of what Eleri might be doing now… She'll be out with all the Hufflepuffs having fun no doubt… From what I could gather they seemed like friendly people. Anyway, I got up and it seemed like an okay place to be, though I didn't know what my first lessons were going to be like. I have potions with the Gryffindors, maybe I could find out what was so special about that Harry Potter or maybe I could find out at breakfast… Yes that was what I was going to do, find out at breakfast… I'd speak to Eleri, she was bound to have found out already, nosey so and so…

I bimbled down to breakfast to see Eleri at the Hufflepuff table buttering some toast… I called her to me and she jumped not expecting me so early, she walked up to me wearing a huge grin.

"What have you been doing?" I said noticing the dreamy look on her face and she looked back to the Hufflepuff table.

"Cedric Diggory!" She sighed quivering and biting her lip.

"Uhhh… Okay," I said looking at the table where a handsome boy was sitting, didn't interest me much. "Anyway! Have you found out what's so special about that Harry Potter yet? I'm unsure but the Slytherins seem to hate him for whatever he did."

"Oh him! I hate him! He's got his head so far up his ass!" She said looking disgusted after being so happy.

"Dude, he's eating breakfast!" I said wondering how in hell he could look so stuck up scoffing down bacon with his red headed friend next to him (who was looking even less of a stuck-up than that Harry Potter.) "So, what is it that he did?" I asked becoming impatient, I tend to have a very short fuse - _I can't help it!_

"Oh, he 'supposedly'," she drawled, making the quoting signs with her fingers. "Defeated the Dark Lord, whoever that is."

"Oh, nothing important then. I thought he might have been born royal or something the way the Gryffindors greeted him yesterday." I sighed a little, I could go back to being normal again.

"Anyway what's the Slytherin common room like?"

"Well, it's kinda damp." I said bluntly cringing at the thought of having to live there for the next seven years.

"That sums up everything about the Slytherins then. Did you see that grouchy old Professor that looks like a grease monger yesterday? His name is Snape." She said screwing up her nose.

"I know..." I said slowly. "He's the head of Slytherin." I groaned as Eleri laughed her head off almost choking on her toast.

"Really?!" She said slowly recovering from her bout of laughter.

"Yeah." I said depressingly glancing over to the staff table.

"Hey cheer up!" She said patting me on the back. "You don't have to turn into one of them." I smiled and looked to the staff table where Professor Snape was glaring at Eleri and me, probably because Slytherins and Hufflepuffs _never ever_, _under no_ _circumstances_ talk to each other as friends. What did they think we were going to do? Blow up the building? Nahhh.. But the way Snape had contorted his face you would have thought we were planning to bomb the houses of Parliament. 

"He's watching us." I whispered through gritted teeth. "Run!!!" I yelled.

"AAAAAAAA!" We wailed running from the Great Hall arms flailing.

"Okay I think we're safe! We're not being watched anymore." I said looking at Eleri as she began casually wolfing down her toast once more.

"Hey where are we?" She said looking around the unfamiliar room.

"Whoa!" I said; my nasal system was doing somersaults. "Stinks in here!" 

"Dude, everything stinks to you!" Eleri reminded me. 

"Oh yeah," I said turning around. "AAAAAAAA!" I screamed, when Eleri turned around she dropped her toast that she was chewing on and joined me in the vocals.

"What-the-f*k-is-THAT?!" I said so quickly that Eleri only just made out what I was saying.

"It's-a-three-headed-dog-from-ancient-Greek-legends-and-is-called-a-Cerberus!!!" She seemed to know what it was but getting away from it would be a different thing.

"IS IT DANGEROUS??!!"

"YUP." She gulped.

"Great. Erm… Anything we can do?" I said swallowing hard the feeling I was gonna snuff it.

"DUH! RUN!!" She said turning around.

"AAAAAAAAA!" We screamed running away. We're good at running away.

We ran out of a door and down several flights of stairs… I think we ran from the third floor. I couldn't tell, I wasn't concentrating. We stopped at the bottom. Well crisis over I think… At least I thought so; Eleri didn't stop running. 

"Hey Eleri!" I shouted. "We're okay come back!"

"Oh!" She said stopping abruptly and walking back calmly. "So what lessons do we have next?" She asked as if nothing had happened.

"I have double Potions with Snape and the Gryffindors," I grumbled.

"Oh well see ya later I have Herbology with the Ravenclaws." She twittered running to where ever the Hufflepuffs came from… Well don't look at me like that, how do I know?

"Bye.." I said quietly as she skipped away. She's way too happy, the bloody Slytherins reject me just because I'm muggle born, ass holes! 

Now then, to Potions. The sooner I get there I guess, the sooner I can leave.

~_~_~_~_~_~_~

Well that certainly was an interesting lesson. Well okay I didn't do much and well, I didn't attract attention to myself so I guess there was no point telling Eleri about it. And she seemed happy enough, when she came round the corner she saw Cedric and stopped next to me staring at him with great interest as he walked along in front of her not bothering to cover up the fact that she was doing it. I guess she wasn't afraid of what people might think as I would be. Then a boy from my Potions class walked past as she looked from Cedric's butt to this boys face. He was with Harry Potter, and had red hair – the same boy I saw with the 'saviour' this morning so I figured they must be friends. He seemed like the kind of person who had a lot of tolerance seeing as he was being ignored as people were all interested in Harry and didn't give a monkeys about him.

Eleri had begun grumbling about her dirty fingers and the fact that she'd got dirt in her nails. She silenced suddenly though as Harry Potter and his friend strolled past with three second years trailing excitedly.

"Eleri!" I said jabbing her in the ribs. "Stop staring. He might notice!"

"That's the point!" She said, ignoring me and smiling widely at the boy who didn't take a blind bit of notice about her.

"Ohh!" I said frustratedly. "I'm going to my common room… I'll see you later!"

~_~_~_~_~_~_~

I'd never seen such an angelic boy in all my life… I can't forget about him, I just can't… Should I go up to him and declare my love or should I lie low a while?? Hmmm, nah, time to go to my first flying lesson with Madam Hooch – boys can wait!

"Welcome to your first flying lesson!" She bellowed over the din the morning birds were making. Great! My first flying lesson with the Ravenclaws! I'm so nervous I could faint right now on this muddy looking spot!

"Put your hand over the broom and say 'Up'!" Ok, this is it! My first ever go at riding a broomstick! Cool!

"UP!!" It zoomed straight into my hand! Wow! Does this mean I'm a natural?!

"Well done! Now mount your brooms and stay on the ground while I teach you the basics, that's it, I want you all to follow my command and gently push yourself off the ground, make a short distance to that tree and lean to the right side to go around it, then back again. When you want to stop, gently lean forward until you can safely walk on the grass again with your feet. Ready? Go!" I needed no persuasion, I was up and off before the others could react to her last words. The wind ran through my hair cold and refreshing waking me up much better than a bowl of Cornflakes ever could! I LOVE THIS!!!!

Trees are no obstacle to me, it was so easy to round I can't believe this is still the basics! I wonder what the advanced lessons are like? I never thought I'd be able to fly like this in my life, only in my dreams have I ever had such freedom and control over something so fast and magical!

"Well done, to all of you but I am most impressed with Miss Nuvios here who completed the task a full ten seconds before you all and who managed to stop with total confidence. Being muggleborn I am _most_ impressed!"

I wish. That wasn't really what happened, I actually managed the tree as good as she said but suddenly found myself quickly losing control of the battered old school broom when it came to the point I was supposed to stop, so I, remembering what she had told us, leaned down on the broom to land but suddenly it swerved up and then back down – The thing was so old I doubted whether it was actually going to be flyable at all in a few more minutes! I had absolutely no control over it! HELP ME!!

"HEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLP!!!"

Hooch yelled something at me as I ripped through the air by her, but I couldn't hear over my screaming. The broom swerved to the left, then the right, down to bounce off the ground and up to hover over it again until I could see ahead of me the long sweeping Hogwarts lawns. I gulped and lay flat against the broom, as I did so it spun round like a washing machine, a flying human bullet I was, zooming across the Hogwarts grounds – I was amazed the old Sweeper had this much speed stored up in it after all these years.

It descended once more and I felt it twist up a fraction of a second before it met the ground.

"SOMEONE HELP ME PLEASE!!!!" I screamed in the loudest and highest exhausted voice not trying to hide my complete fear. The Sweeper began to rise up, I held on as it smoothly looped three times and went back the way it had came making me hang upside down on it heading back to my flying class.

I risked opening my eyes to see the familiar human blurs of Hooch and the other Hufflepuffs in my year whom I couldn't make out, before pelting head first into a tree. I don't need to tell you how much that hurt.

"Excellent control! Never have I seen such control over a wild broom from a first year and a muggleborn may I just add!"

What did she say? I have no idea as I twitched on the tree roots with a broken broomstick on top of me, a broken neck too no doubt. How did I survive that?

"Can you stand up?" She asked with sudden concern in her voice.

"Muh?" I mumbled blinking my eyes and reorganising my limbs in their right places. Others now were coming towards me with looks of admiration on their shocked faces. Well I wasn't going to sit there and be a show was I?

"Carefully Nuvios, you don't have any broken bones do you?" Hooch hovered like a worried mum as I rolled onto my belly and onto my knees, finally pushing myself up to stand shaking a bit after having broken the sound barrier, I must have feeling like this!

"I okay…" I grinned suddenly realising how cool I must have looked zooming away like that and doing all those tricks even though I was screaming like a baby back there.

"Good girl." Madam Hooch patted my shoulder and led me back to the ring of used brooms. "Would you like to sit this one out?" She offered her hand in case I was going to collapse right there, but although my muscles ached and my neck was stiff I really wanted to carry on with the lesson.

"I'm fine Miss, what are we doing next?" She gave me a confused frown but shrugged her shoulders and walked away unable to do anything more. I suppose she would throw that old broom away after we had gone off for our next lesson.

We continued, I took it a little slower this time, rounded two trees, then went over them and spiralled down and round them and back. We had to go up in a vertical line, then horizontally and finally she produced a firmly locked wooden crate which she opened to reveal five balls.

"These two red ones are called Quaffles, yes I know most of you know because you've no doubt played I at home with your families but this is for the benefit of the mugggleborns. Okay, these two Quaffles are what score the goals if a Chaser uses them, these two black ones are called Bludgers and are there to beat opponents off their brooms." They were chained and vibrated within them active and desperate to escape. "They aim for heads so watch out, Beaters have the job to bat them away to the other team. This tiny walnut sized one is called a Snitch; the Seeker has to capture it to win the game for their team, winning them an extra one hundred and fifty points and the admiration and congratulations from their house. Any questions? No? Okay, That's it then, lesson one is over; you may come down form your brooms and go off to you next lesson." Just as she finished speaking and I had landed one of the cannon ball sized Bludgers broke free of its chains and hurtled for all the class. The girls screamed and flung themselves to the floor, the boys yelled and ran out the way dropping their brooms and pelting across the lawns. I was the only target left.

"AAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!" 

__

WHACK!

The ball was hurtling off over the forest now as I stood with my broomstick before me, snapped and held on by a few splinters after the blow I had given the Bludger with it. Hooch smiled, then as the Bludger returned for more she performed a quick restraining spell and cased it back in the crate.

"An excellent flyer with good control and a possible Beater." She mused taking the second broomstick I had broken in the lesson from me looking at it disappointed. "I shall look forward to your next class Nuvios, I predict great talent in you." I blushed. Then trembling with pleasure and nerves I headed off back to the castle giggling nervously with the rest of the Hufflepuffs as they congratulated me for my wonderful entertainment on their first day. Cool! I love flying!

~_~_~_~_~_~_~

The scene in the common room was not cool! In fact it annoyed me. Malfoy was grumbling about Harry, and Mudbloods in general as he referred to us as when I walked in. Well, he then started on me, as you can imagine I was not impressed. I looked at him blankly again to try to stop him and draw his attention to something else. 

"You don't belong here you stupid Mudblood!"

"Why not?!" I shouted at him that was something that I don't think he was expecting, my expression had changed completely and this time I couldn't ignore this obnoxious jerk! He sneered at me then continued to talk to the others about me like I wasn't there. I hit him on the back of the head gently, a sort of friendly tap in a non-friendly way. "I am _here_ you guys!" I said trying to get their attention but no one was listening. Malfoy then started making some references to my being unworthy of this house and how I must be completely gutless. That was it!

"Excuse me Draco!" I said burning from the inside out. "But never _ever_ call me gutless! What is it you want me to do?!" I snapped.

"You are gutless!" He drawled. "Yellow, spineless…" This was just childish! What a gump! The list scrolled on and all I wanted to was wipe that smug look off his face, prove myself worthy as it were. Stupid hing to do, shouldn't have to and I knew it but I had to live here!

"Okay… That's it. I'll jump off the astrology tower if that's what you want… Come on Malfoy, watch me… I'm gonna do it!" I said. Yeah I know it's stupid and Eleri would probably try to stop me but she wasn't here, ha! His expression changed to an even deeper sneer. 

I walk out of the common room and a group of Slytherins follow me including Malfoy. I could only assume that he wanted to watch me wimp out like the rest of them. I reached the bottom of the stairs and proceeded to climb them. Malfoy was close behind me but by that time half of the people who had followed lost interest. I got to the top and looked out… It was frikking high! I stepped onto the wall of the window and Malfoy looked like he was about to back down.

"Okay Quillix, you don't have to jump. You're just gutless anyway. You're not going to do that!" He said trying to make out I was scared.

"Well I'll see ya later. Race ya down!" I said stepping backwards off the ledge smiling facing him, just before I could see him no more I saw the look on his face. It was priceless, he went almost transparent with fear, I looked at the flor that I was now falling to. The wind was now brushing through my hair and well… It was fun, up to a point; the floor was getting closer to me and it was freaking me out. I watched TV a lot, I've seen Drop Zone and I knew a bit about science… I just have to slow my decent by creating a bit more drag. I started to fall slower and then began to swim in the air towards the lake, near the edge a bit into an area that seemed to be getting deeper. It was gonna hurt when I hit it. One hell of a belly flop! 

Yikes! 

Poor planning, poor planning.

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SPLASH!

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Authors Note: What did you think?! Mental! We need shooting I hear you say! Indeed! Lol! This story is fun to write and thank you to everyone who has reviewed so far! Yippee! We love reviews, we're both review freaks! It's true! This was just... Argh! Anyhoo! We let you go now! 

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Remember... You've been m00fed!

I.C. Pigs


	3. That was really poor planning......

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Disclaimer: These characters, well they don't belong to us, only a few that you will not recognise. 

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Authors Note: Welcome to chapter 3.. Like we have started to say send us you're description, a brief out line of the character you would like to have and we'll try to slot you in, you'll also have to give us a name for you. But the rest we are free to arse around with - if that's okay with you then we'll see what we can do.

m00fed – Holy poop on a stick!

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Ahh, the first day of being at Hogwarts is nearly over…dinner soon…my back is killing me! Seriously, that is the last time I allow a broom to get the better of me!

Ouch…bloody bloody old Sweeper 260…260 in how old it is…well I destroyed it when I crashed into that tree so that's my revenge…I'm fickle, I know, but that's who I am and I don't give a damn what anyone else thinks!

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I'm wandering about on one of the many floors in one of the numerous corridors looking for something to do until dinner since all my lessons are over now and I have about an hour free… So I think I'll have a look outside and see what's going on down by the lake…

"AAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!"

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What the hell was Nova doing flying down the castle walls????????!!!!! AAA! Nova! You stupid, um, stupid…AAAAAAAAA!

I ran down as fast as I could through the castle only to crash into a pillar of man, it was Professor Snape; I quickly staggered back groaning and holding my head, I seemed to have hit him quite hard in the chest as he stood there holding it and fuming.

"What are you doing running through the corridors? Ten points from Hufflepuff!" He yelled, but I began to hop up and down on the spot stressed and pointing to the window.

"Nova Quillix! She's jumped! She's gone! Window, fall, splash! Lake! AAA!!" Snape sneered at me! I couldn't believe it! This was one of his students.

"I don't believe you." He said coldly, and I was sure he was about to take some more points off me for wasting his time when Draco Malfoy sped round the corner like a loony spotted Snape and began repeating me.

"Quillix! Window! Leapt! Gone! AAAAA!" He said breathlessly as Snape's face became more concerned. What was it with teachers… Find it so bloody difficult to believe a Hufflepuff just because most of the others houses say things that are a lot more plausible.. Just because we're well behaved and loyal! Bastards! "Wasn't my fault!" Draco continued. Snape slammed his fist on the window ledge and stared around like a bird trying to search it's pray. 

"You didn't try to stop her!" He yelled at Malfoy. "Look there she is!" He shouted, I could just see her tiny figure in the distance falling then hitting the lake with a great big splash, it was like a bomb had gone off.

"SHE'S DEAD!!" I screamed throwing my hands over my face and running away to see if there was anything left of her. Snape swept along behind me muttering how stupid today's children were, Malfoy had skipped nervously away so he wouldn't get caught at the scene of the crime. I ran and ran but while Snape turned off down another corridor – no doubt to find other teachers like Dumbledore – I crashed through the entrance hall's mighty doors and pelted almost tripping at each step because my body was going faster than my legs could keep up. My back and aching muscles from the flying lesson earlier were really killing me! Damn you Nova for making me do this!

Then I saw her, not dead, far from it for she was pulling herself out of the water and up the bank like the Swamp Thing, ringing out her dripping hair covered in weeds and I swear I saw tiny fish leap from her pockets to flop back into the lake. She looked up and waved, her face was the brightest and most ecstatic expression I'd ever seen on a person.

"Hiiii! What can I doo foor yooo?" She said in a really cheesy voice impersonating a joke Lee Evans made about American restaurants. It would have been very funny if the situation was not so serious.

"What the F*k were you thinking?????!!" I screamed wheezing for my breath. Nova twisted her head like an owl and wore a confused, innocent face.

"What?"

"You leapt out the frikking window you crazy suicidal cow!!" she grinned.

"m00f!"

"Shut up! This is serious! The teachers are coming here now to find your sodden carcass! What do you have to say about that?!" She put on a goofy face and strolled off in the direction of the forest.

"Let 'em look, it'll be fun! Come on Eleri let's get good seats!" I stared flabbergasted at her walking off as if nothing had happened. She pulled out her wand and muttered a spell that dried all of her clothing immediately, then drying her hair and pulling out a deodorant spray to make herself nice a fresh as the lake's weeds crumbled and fell off her like dust.

__

Bitch! She can be so stupid and inconsiderate of how others would react sometimes! She threw herself out the window for God's sake!

I followed loyally, true Hufflepuff that I am…oh damn my feeble mind.

~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~

It was midnight when we walked back up to the castle grounds getting tired of watching the teachers poke about with sticks in the little boats that usually carried first years, and besides, we were hungry, the call for food from our stomachs eventually told us that we might as well go back up to bed. Leaving the teachers all night for all we cared.

In the entrance hall we sat down on the marble stairs and ate some pasties that I had in my pocket – what? I only kept them there for emergencies okay? I'm not a food freak…much.

"How long do you suppose it'll be before they give up and come crawling back to their beds?" I said through a mouthful of pasty. Nova shrugged her shoulders and gulped down more not saying a word, but I could tell she was finding the whole situation highly entertaining.

"We can't be here when they come back; we'll get in lots of trouble…we'll loose points for our house! I've already lost ten points for running into Snape when I saw you belly flop into the lake." Nova smirked and giggled.

"It was a good dive though wasn't it?"

"Dude, it was _'class'." _We had a good laugh about it for a few minutes when the doors suddenly flew open. There were the teachers looking bedraggled and anxious, we quickly leapt up the moment they came in and hurried away hoping the darkness would hide us. Then we heard a hurried squelching, like sodden shoes full of water running to catch us up, then a voice called out.

"When I catch you Quillix I'm going to rip off your head!" Nova and I startled; it was Snape.

"Run! Save yourself!" I shouted as Nova sped on – she was always so much faster than me and had much better stamina.

"Aha!" Snape piped behind me – he was gaining on us! AARGH! "That Nuvios girl as well I hear!" He laughed.

"I think he means to kill us Nova!" I screamed as I tripped over due to my robes being too long. Nova stopped and came back to help me but it was too late; Snape had got us! *gasp!*

"Holy crap!" I shouted.

"Have you been swimming Professor Snape?" Nova had a slight hint of sarcasm in her voice, she was such a good actor under pressure.

"I'll give you the worst detention I have ever given to anybody!" He growled pulling Nova round and holding her by her right arm shouting in her face. She screwed up her nose – damn man, Snape's breath must have stank. He was dripping from head to toe, water running in beads down his head and his clothes hung heavy and sodden to his body, I only guessed that he must have fell in the lake. I sniggered so much that he could hear me, when he turned his cold, black eyes on me I slammed my mouth shut and looked like a fish. Nova endured the continued shouting he was giving her and slowly move her hand down to her side pocket.

"You've been up here _swanning_ about while we all thought you were dead!"

"Good pun sir, swanning, lake."

"Silence!" I turned my eyes from him and twitched nervously from one foot to the other. "Nuvios! Stand still!" He couldn't see what she was doing though.

__

Oh no, Nova, seriously that's going too far.

"The entire staff have been out there for about five or six hours now and all this time you've been up here _playing_ – "

__

"I can't stand it anymore!!!!!" Nova intercepted bringing up a breath freshener and spraying into his wide and screaming mouth. While he coughed and loosened his grip on her after being surprised so much Nova shouted.

"Run!" I did, I ran as fast as I could to my Hufflepuff common room. Nova was squeaking behind me as I was sure Snape had regained himself and got his grip on her again.

~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~

"QUILLIX!" Snape screamed down my ear so loudly I thought my eardrum was going to burst.

"Sorry!" I said screamed back in order that he might hear me. 

"You're expelled!" I looked at him wide eyed, trying innocence, would it work? "Don't look at me like that!" He shouted equally loudly into my face again – well at least his breath smelt better.

"You can't expel her Severus." Dumbledore said calmly ringing out his long silver beard. "She's disorientated." Thank heavens for Dumbledore! That saved my butt!

"Why not?!" Snape screamed at me shaking my shoulders like I were a rag doll, I allowed my head to loll from side to side making myself seem dazed. "I'll give her disorientated!" _Never again will I jump off a building, very bad idea.... What was I thinking? Watch the staff look for me?! Idiot! Idiot!_ I scolded myself.

"Stop being so rough with her!" McGonagall snapped turning from a drenched cat, to a soggy old woman. I suddenly noticed that only three of the teachers were wet. Snape, Dumbledore and McGonagall, what had they been doing?

"Severus can you leave us please. I don't think that you're presence is helping." He glared at Dumbledore before dropping me to the floor and squelching round the corner.

"Now, could you please explain to me why you were in the lake this afternoon?" Dumbledore asked crouching in front of me. What was I supposed to say? 

"I was pushed!" I sobbed, if innocence wasn't going to work then tears normally helped, no that was too kiddy, I soon stopped myself. I don't do crying, not me really.

"Who pushed you?"

"I… erm… no one!" I said quickly not wanting anyone else to take the rap for what I had done.

"Then you jumped," McGonagall said seriously.

"Well not exactly. I was pushed, pushed to it if you get what I mean. I walked off, Malfoy called me gutless and goofy and a Mudblood, I was annoyed so I stepped off the Astrology tower." I said wanting to get away from all the glaring tired eyes. "_Peer Pressure_!" I came up with.

"Could you come to my office please Miss Quillix?" Dumbledore said getting to his feet and walking along expecting me to follow him. I followed of course, he was the headmaster.. I'm not gonna run from him. All the other members of staff grumbled and went to their offices or wherever it was that they slept. 

"Sir I'm really sorry." I said, this time I really did want forgiveness, there was something about him that told you that you didn't want to be on his bad side. His eyes seemed really sad and well… empty, it scared me.

"Sherbert Lemons." He said to the stone gargoyle out side what I could only assume was a moving staircase to him office.

"Hey I like Sherbert lemons." I said making him smile briefly forgetting to be angry with me before turning serious again. I followed him up the steps and he pointed to a seat in front of the desk.

"Miss Quillix, would you like to offer some explanation."

"No… There is none. I'm er… not smart and my actions today were not clever. Poor planning on my part, I swear I will never do that again." I meant what I said, there was no way I was gonna do a belly flop into the Hogwarts lake again, not even if the offered to pay me.

"Well I would like to think that you'll apologise to the rest of the staff, and to Professor Snape. He was so worried and well, he was pulled under the water for a whole five minutes by the squid after it had turned our boat over."

"Really?" I said calmly, I really wanted to laugh, but it just wasn't the time. Suddenly the door burst open and in walked Professor Snape - dry again, unfortunately. Something about being soaking wet and in skin tight clothes that suited his rather slender physic, I looked at him as he stood fuming before reaching for the tatty old hat in the glass cabinet. 

"What are you doing Severus?" Dumbledore said bemused, Snape plonked the hat on my head again.

"I demand she be sorted again!" He said pressing it down firmly as I squirmed my arms flailing as I tried to escape..

'Hello again. What are you doing here?'

__

You're on my head, I've already been sorted once, what's going on. _Snape must be off his rocker if he thinks you're going to change your mind._

'I don't know. Jumping into the lake Nova, not your best laid plan.'

"You already sorted me once!" Was the sound of my muffled voice from under the hat as I tried to tell Snape that.

'Well if they want to sort you again I guess it will have to be Slytherin.'

__

Why again?

'Because you're just like them, cunning and sarcastic. Besides you can't be sorted twice, it's more than my jobs worth!' "SLYTHERIN" The hat shouted. Snape yanked it off my head and stormed out of the office.

"Can I go now please Professor?" I asked Dumbledore who smiled briefly handed me a detention slip and showed me to the door again. I clambered down the steps and back to the common room where another first year girl was sitting asleep in a chair. She had brown hair, I couldn't see her eyes she was asleep... I know I shouldn't and I know it's cruel but... 

"Hey!" She said sleepily, after I woke her up by poking her on the nose.

"What's you're name?" I asked calmly, really fuming inside screwing up the slip of paper in my hands. The she poked me on the nose in return. I screwed up my nose and plonked myself in the seat closest to the fire.

"Manda, but everyone seems to call me Minkey, I dunno why." She said rubbing her nose. "What's yours?" 

"Nova, just Nova. Though Snape and Malfoy seem to have taken a liking to calling me Quillix, I already have a detention." I grumbled.

"Why?" She asked rubbing her eyes and beginning to get comfortable in her chair again.

"Don't ask." I said getting out of my seat and going to bed.

"Good night to you too." I heard her mutter behind me as I opened the door leading to the dormitories. 

"Night." I muttered just to make sure I didn't often her. When I got into bed I drifted into an uneasy sleep. Woke in the middle of the night haunted by visions of flying monkeys, damn I knew this couldn't be good. I didn't want detention and Eleri, Snape knew it was Eleri who was with me. Oh dear...... Looks like I wasn't going to be alone.

****

Authors Note: Thank you to everyone who has reviewed... *bows to everyone* We hope everyone likes our little story. Highly stupid but generally there to make you larf! _Minkey_ is _Snape No Koibito_, thanx for letting us plop you in, we'll make use of everyone who wants us to! 

__

Remember you've been m00fed!.........

I.C. Pigs


	4. Detention Sucks Ass

Disclaimer: We don't own any of this, we're just encroaching! HA!  So we beg you – sue us not!

Author's Note:  New chapter! HAHAHAH!  Read on!

Detention Sucks Ass!

The flying monkeys in my sleep definitely didn't help matters much.  When I went down to breakfast I could see Snape leaning over a point on the Hufflepuff table and I know she's had it too.  When he walked away Eleri was looking really grumpy and the rest of the Hufflepuffs were glowering at Snape, Sprout was even giving Snape evils.  Then she looked at me, like it was my fault, yeah okay it was my fault - I admit it. My bad but I didn't mean for everyone to go out there… I know I watched… Right I accept full blame, it was my fault and thus my problem.

I sat down at the Slytherin table next to the girl that spoke with me the night before and I looked about the table, there was a girl to my left who was looking at Malfoy like he'd hung the moon and another girl who as I remember at the sorting was sorted in private because Professor McGonagall couldn't pronounce her name, she was opposite me anyway, I looked at her strangely and asked;

"Er… How do you say your name?  I can't get my tongue around it."

"Quella M. Bajxinz," she said with ease, I still didn't catch it.

"The M. stands for what?"  I said sarcastically.  "Messed-up?"  She glared at me, oops.  I'm not good at this making friends thing.

"Murrypal."  She said swiftly hoiking her nose in the air like I was scum.

"Erm… Yeah, but if you think about it, what sort of name is that?"  I received another set of evils, it was spreading round the table.  I got up and walked over to the Hufflepuff table. "Eleri, could I talk with you please?"  I said the rest of the Hufflepuffs glared at me.

"Is this the one?"  The boy I remember Eleri telling me was called Cedric asked her.  She nodded, the other Hufflepuffs continued to mutter.

"Eleri what have you been telling them?"  I said as she frowned at me and refused to say anything.

"Go away, she doesn't want to consort with people like you!"  Cedric said and they all turned away from me.  I was alone, oh no!  I didn't think I had done anything that bad, I mean she didn't have to go and talk to Professor Dumbledore, I'd got her out of that one.  I slunk back to my table and sat down.

"Hey Minkey?  Wanna talk?  I don't seem to have to many friends round here at the minute."  She looked at me as if to tell me it was my own fault.  "Okay I know!"  I said calmly.  I looked at Quella and swallowed.  "I'm sorry."  Still no response… Oh for god's sake, I said sorry what more did she want?!  Blood?!  Umm… best not ask her.  Oh why won't Eleri talk to me?  Was it because I was in Slytherin and… er got her in trouble?  She got herself into it.  She didn't have to stay with me, oh ARSE!

I finished what I was eating and stormed out of the Great Hall not saying anything to anyone.  If Eleri wanted to ignore me that was her beef, I wasn't going to talk to her.  No she could talk to me first, or she could just glare at me in detention this evening with Professor Snape in the dungeons.

~_~_~_~_~_~

It was a fine day when I woke up in my Hufflepuff common room, the sun was shining through the window and I was really getting to like yellow, but I couldn't help but think that my life wasn't going anywhere… I dunno why it just did.

Still, breakfast had been a little difficult with Nova wanting to apologise or whatever she wanted, but I had the rest of my house there! How was I supposed to just be friends with her when Cedric was there looking at me? I don't wanna seem mean but he is a really nice guy!

Anyhoo, I don't have much to do today, I think I have a Charms lesson with the Gryffindors and that'll be interesting because there's that really hot kid who hangs around with that Harry Potter and this'll be my opportunity to get to know him hehe!

Lalalala…..off to Charms lesson we go weeeeeee… am I forgetting anything? Oh no!!! I have a detention later on tonight with Snape! What a drag! I hate that guy, damn you Nova for getting me into this…eww, I bet he picks his nose… I haven't had a Potions lesson yet but he is so disgustingly evil… 

I shivered.

And I bet Nova fancies the ass off him! That's the kinda guy I reckon she wants to get together with, me, I go for the sweet red head kind hehe…

~_~_~_~_~

My first lesson was kinda crap, Herbology was BOR-ING!!

Oh no!  Flying, I have broomstick practice.  I can't fly, well I don't think so.  I don't want to fly, I have had a hard enough time getting over my belly flop to go and crash into trees and crap.

I looked around the Hogwarts lawns and then at where all the other Slytherins and Gryffindors were going, they all seemed ecstatic.  I didn't wanna!  I looked at Malfoy who was still scared of me after I gave him the fright of his life, won't call me goofy in a while now will you, HA!  That weird Harry Potter kid was looking at me strangely as well, I expect he had heard about my extra curricular flying lesson sans broom.  Well I prefer to travel light-weight, okay I'll shut up about that.

Madam Hooch gave her traditional 'welcome to your first flying lesson' speech that I fell asleep in, and then told us how to do the broom thing.

I held my hand out over the broom, as I had been instructed but I just didn't want to go off flying.

"Up," I muttered, the broom shot into my hand so sharply it hurt.  "OUCH!"  I snapped dropping it again.

"Oh grow up Quillix, you coward!"  Malfoy sneered.

"Hmm, where have I heard this before?  Oh yes just before I walked backwards over the Astrology tower, wanna see that again?  I'm in the mood for free falling!"  He turned away, not that much had happened, in that short space of time, the majority of the class had taken off and this weird fat Neville kid had crashed into the castle and hurt himself.  Madam Hooch scurried off with him and the rest of the class were muttering before Malfoy opened his big gob.

It was then I got the funniest picture, Malfoy bent over and picked something up but to be honest I thought it was night time again, big fat arse cheeks, I burst into laughter, everyone looked at me.

"What?"  I said calmly, "ahem," I calmed myself.

"Look!  It's that stupid thing Longbottom's Gran sent him."

"Give that here Malfoy," who said that?  Oh it was that Harry Potter kid, he's sticking up for the fat kid, GO HARRY!

"I think I'll leave it somewhere for Longbottom to collect – how about – up a tree?"  What an arse hole!  I hate him even more now.

"Give it _here!"_  Harry yelled, well I wouldn't argue with that, but Malfoy had already jumped on his broom and was hovering up by the oak trees – show off!  Ahh… I'm bored of this, the silly girl who was always acting like she knew everything was trying to stop Harry from getting it back but I wanted to see a fight… Harry leapt on the broom and pushed off quickly like a natural.  Bugger, I wish I could do that.

The weird red head that Eleri liked was looking at Potter like he had hung the moon, I didn't want to tell Eleri that I could envision him growing into a rampant homosexual.  Well maybe not that bad but all the girls but me were gasping and screaming in admiration for Harry, ditz's.

Harry then did a dive, I could hear what had been said but Malfoy lobbed the thingie, and Harry dived for it, catching it a little off the ground before McGonagall the stone faced gargoyle came out and ruined the fun.  Scrooge!  Harry could fly though I had to grant him that, all she was worried about was him breaking his neck, _yeah like that was important._

Well we all got dismissed early and then when we got back into school I wanted to die because as soon as I finished eating I had detention, ugh… no I think that was enough to put anyone off their food.  How about I pull a fast one and act ill or something, QUICK TO THE LIBRARY!  Time to find a descent illness to give myself.

I got out of the hall running along hell for leather, but blindly, someone grabbed me by the back of the neck, OOOOWWWWWWEEEEEEE!!!

"Where are you going Quillix!"  It was Snape, DAMN!

"To the library Sir," I said trying to sound like his cold hands weren't bugging me, but they were so damn cold.  "Could you let me go please, you're cold."

"You have detention, you should be there already, get down to the dungeons."

"But… but… but…"

"Shut up and go to detention Miss Quillix, I won't tell you again."

"But I was going to look something up for my next potions lesson, it's very important, I really have to get to the library."  I stammered, he gripped the back of my robes and spun me round really fast then practically threw me in the direction of the dungeons.  I looked over my shoulder at him, he stood tall, proud and folded his arms waiting for me to start walking.  WAAA!  My plan failed, I reckon he reads minds… _bastard, utter bastard._

~_~_~_~_~_~

When I got into the dungeon Eleri was already there waiting, I got into the room to face her annoyed glare.  I didn't even look at her, who needs her.  I turned around to see Snape looming in the doorway, goddamn it!  Why won't you f*k off!  I stood in the doorway a little longer, Snape grabbed my shoulder and pushed me into the room roughly.

"Sit down," he barked, I went and sat next to Eleri… she just turned and stared at me, _bitch!_

"Alright," I muttered, Eleri turned her shoulder on me.

"And SHUT UP!"  He yelled.

"Okay," I squeaked.

"Don't you ever keep that big mouth of yours shut Quillix?!"

"Well…"

"I didn't want an answer!  It was a rhetorical question!"

"But it was a question I could answer," I stuttered.

"QUIET!"

"Eep!"

"You two will be spending the rest of the evening cleaning this classroom until you learn that what you did yesterday was inconsiderate and idiotic."

"Yeah!  I know that… can we go now?"  I said, he turned a twitching eye on me, his patience was wearing thin with me and Eleri was doing as she was told.  What did I look like?  Some kind of maid?  I did enough cleaning at home to have to come to school and clean as well… no chance!

"I will be back in an hour… I want this room spotless when I get back!"  He yelled leaving a bucket with some sponges and cleaning stuff on a desk and left the room locking us in.  Hey we were witches, what's to stop us leaving, I tried the unlocking charm I'd heard that Hermione Granger Gryffindor thing tell Ron and Harry, Snape had thought of that already apparently, that or I wasn't doing it right.  We were stuck.  ARSE!

~_~_~_~_~_~

Work sucks.

I'm a Hufflepuff and I suppose I am expected to do what I am told because I am loyal and polite but screw that! I'm just lazy, always have been always will no one's gonna tell _me_ what to do!  Though… I don't want to get in trouble again, especially not with Professor Snape because that guy is just pissed 24-7.

Nova doesn't seem to care as usual - she's just spending this detention lying on a bench trying to get some sleep.  Now who's the lazy one?! All that big fat git gave us was a bucket of soap and two mouldy sponges, how the hell does he expect us to do any decent work with this crap?  Aww… I guess one of us is gonna have to start, we have an hour to get this room spotless, though I'm not sure that'll be possible since he works in here everyday and the guy absolutely reeks of piss!

"Eleri… what _are_ you doing?"

"Detention…" Nova sat up and watched me scrub the top of a bench weakly.  I just couldn't be _arsed._

"Well you're not doing a very good job… Put your back into it Hufflepuff! Or if you're not going to bother just sit back and relax!" I glared at her.

"He'll be expecting something done… We're in enough trouble thanks to you."

"Eh relax bitch… I'm gettin' meself some shuteye."

"Nova!"

"What?!" She replied completely innocently.

"Grab a sponge and start scrubbing!"

"I don't work for _no one!_ Do I look like a house wife to you?!"

GRRRR……

I picked up a sponge and dunked it into the bucket so that it was very heavy with water and soap bubbles, Nova muttered something about how she'd one day kick Malfoy's ass and lay back against the wall shutting her eyes.

I threw the sponge, direct into her face.

_"ELERI!!!"_

"Don't treat me like an idiot! It's all your fault we have this detention and I'm not going to let you sit back and go to sleep when we have to scrub his stinky smelly classroom! And I ain't doin' it all myself!!!" My soggy friend narrowed her eyes.

"Meh… Scrubbin's for chumps.  I'm no chump. Not for him."

"Well fine!" I threw down my sponge into the bucket and sat on a stool. Something hit my face - it was the wet sponge.

"Quit yer whinin' wench and git back to yer scrubbin'!"

"That's it!!" I lunged at her and we got into a vicious fight, well, not really too vicious.  I pulled her hair.  An, and she pulled mine, it was agreed early on through our feeble actions that we weren't really being serious or cared at all how pathetic we were being. Hehe…

Then just as we were squeaking and laughing at each she kicked and knocked my legs out from under me, just as Snape walked back into the room and I cursed at Nova at the top of my voice.

"NOVA-YOU-BACK-STABBING-PIECE-OF-SHIT!"

"What is the meaning of this behaviour?! I told you to clean this room and I find you _cat fighting?!"_ I was looking stupid on the dirty floor and I merely hung my head in shame.  Snape turned his deathly black eyes on Nova and she seemed rather shocked, she squeaked and the wands she held sparked.  Immediately the room was transformed bright white like a hospital.  Snape looked repulsed, he cringed and stepped back outside the door.

"Oopsie? Hey look! The room's clean! We can go!" I stood up and rubbed my head.

"Hey!" I looked accusingly at her, she looked down at her hand.

"Oo dear, sorry 'bout that." She handed back a scrap of my hair. Ouch, it really hurt.

"You're not leaving this early Quillix! You stay here with your little _friend_ and return this room back to how it was!"

"But it's all clean, spotless!"

"But It's NOT the DUNGEON!"

"Picky." Snape strode in and grabbed Nova by the neck. She squeaked with surprise, but hey, I was pretty surprised by the roughness of the man myself! I had plenty of opportunity to run but I couldn't, damn the loyalties of the Hufflepuff!

"You're _trying_ my patience _little girl!"_

"Hey!" He turned on me.  I felt vulnerable under his stare and wished I were wearing a little more… like perhaps three more pairs of robes… eep!

"You are both coming with me to the Headmaster and hopefully you'll be out of Hogwarts before tomorrow morning!"

_"You're going to expel us??!!"_

"Oh shit…" Nova mumbled.  "Isn't there something you could do to me that would keep both of us in the school and still able to learn?"

"Unless they make it legal for us to use class A tranquillisers on you I doubt it," 

"So we're doomed?"  She said in a depressed tone.

"I'm afraid so," he said in a very Dumbledore like way but with more malice and pleasure in his tone, like he had just received the best gift a man could get.

"Ohhh! Nooooooo!"  Nova wailed, talk about crumbling, I think she broke apart.

~_~_~_~_~_~

NOOOO!  Not old man Dumbledore, I don't think I can take anymore! Perhaps I should go for the drugs?  That way we'd be able to stay here and I might actually learn something instead of being an obstructing annoyance to everyone… the thing is the drugged up look just isn't me.  It would be like being confronted by Snape who would be acting Lord high and mighty. You will do as I say or perish… nah.

But where was I?   

NOOOO!  I don't want to see Dumbledore.  I'll get kicked out.  I wanna be a Witch!  Not a… oh what do they call the magical non-magical thingies… oh hell I forget.

Snape wrenched hold of the back of my robes before I had time to scarper and before I knew it out go the lights.  I could just make out a brief squealing behind me but I couldn't see anything… he must have used the sleeper on me or something because when I woke up I didn't feel right… in fact.  I felt law abiding, like I don't know, and I felt dirty.  Where the hell did Eleri go, and why was Professor Snape smiling sadistically down at me.

"I trust you feel better Miss Quillix," he said getting up and walking away.  I was still in the dungeons.  Where was Eleri?  Where was she?  I mean I couldn't see her.  I knew she had been down here. But lights out and, hey even I don't know what happened.  Any takers?

"I think someone tried to rip my brain out then washed it through with formaldehyde…" I muttered looking up from the cold stone floor.  There was a bubbling cauldron and Snape just looked at me as if he were Satan himself.  Eleri?

"That's normal.  But then I bet you don't feel like causing trouble anymore."

"What's that?"

"Trouble," he said smirking.

"Never heard of it.  Can I go now, I have a blinding head ache and I think I have Potions homework to do… lots of it."  It was weird, part of my brain was screaming with protest but the guiding part just…took over.  I wanted to do work, lots and lots and lots…and lots…

_AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!_

_Author's Note:  Don't forget to review!  We need reviews!  Please remember that if you wish we'll plonk you in this cause we need more daft silly characters like dishwater... er or something.  What's happenin?!  Are they gunna be normal for once?  Well this is Nova and Eleri_

_BYEEEEEEE!_

_I.C. Pigs_

_HAHAHAH!_


End file.
